Selective Learning

Why, why WHY do I have so many WEIRD expressions and WHY does my son keep picking them up and pointing them out to me?  The latest thing I seem to have taught him is expressive heavy breathing.  No, it’s not what you think.  This is completely G rated and involves only lego triumphs and my own silly expressions. 

 

We were downstairs playing with lego today when he finally “got it” and learned that you could pull pieces apart and put them back together.  Which is an important milestone in the life of a 14 month old.  He did it a few times and I rewarded his accomplishments appropriately with some hand clapping and smiling until all of a sudden, after pulling two pieces apart, he looked me in the face, stuck his tongue out and started PANTING at me. 

 

Panting.

 

So, as I did with the sudden arrival of the “snort”, I repeated the action and checked myself.  Each time he victoriously pulled the piece of lego apart I would throw my hands in the air and take a quick gasp in of air – hoping, maybe, to convey shock and excitement?  Who knows, WHY.  But he picked up on it and it is now manifest as an interval of heavy breathing after every fancy lego maneuver he does.

 

This kid will pick up ANYTHING.  Try to teach him “no” and he looks at you like you’re from Mars, but make some weird sound at him and he’s all over it.

 

He hears the word “no” over and over and over again as he touches the stereo, bites our shoulders, lunges at my parents dog, wipes his peanut butter on toast into his hair, runs onto the road, eats dirt…the list goes on and on….and still our son looks at us with a blank expression as we repeat it 3 times and then escort him to time out.  He then throws his usual fit, crying as if to say, ‘NO!!! NOT THE POST!!! I DIDN”T KNOW!! I DON”T UNDERSTAND SIMPLE ONE SYLLABLE WORDS WITH FINGER WAGGING AND HEAD SHAKING!!!!”

 

I tell you, I should have started putting him in time outs while he was in the womb.  Although maybe I should just start making some weird noise instead…then I can say to other mothers, ‘NO we decided against baby sign language and opted for the this tongue clicking African dialect instead– he seems to pick it up quite quickly”