Damn You, Billy

I have become somewhat of an exercise video workout addict. Not that I DO them, just that I buy and hoard them….I know- - its weird. I think there’s something appealing about perfectly looking people promising you similar results while smiling and not producing a drop of sweat. And all in 20 minutes! Or just 5 cycles of 3 minutes! Or something that sounds cheerful and EASY…. And you don’t even have to leave your own home. AND you can PAUSE it whenever you like and NO ONE will know.

The problem is, that I just haven’t found one that I really LIKE yet. Which SHOULD discourage me from buying more but it just makes the pursuit that much more enthralling.

Today when I was out I bought FOUR new ones. FOUR. I don’t even buy four pairs of new underwear at a time, but for some reason today I thought I’d hit a jackpot at the discount video store.

So this afternoon I tried out the first one.

BILLY’S BOOT CAMP : COMBAT MISSION 2 -- MAXIMUM POWER

Everyone is dressed in army gear and the “music” is them COUNTING to 8 over and over and over again at what I soon discovered to be a fairly QUICK pace….hardcore.

And yet -- I didn’t think it did much for me. I broke a sweat and my arms burned a bit from repeatedly torturing my deltoids, but I wasn’t OVERLY impressed….until about 3 hours later when I tried to lift up a small margarine container of water to dump over Toby’s head in the bath. By the time I got it over Toby’s head my entire arm was CONVULSING in objection. The convulsions resurfaced as I lifted his TOOTHBRUSH (with toothpaste on it) up to my eye level to brush his teeth.

It appears perhaps I HAVE found COMBAT MISSION 2 to be a bit of a challenge…In fact I’m a little scared to see what tomorrow holds. And, as I dread the inevitable end of this post because of the 15cm arm raise closing my laptop will require, I have a sinking suspicion that Billy and his Maximum Power BOOT CAMP will soon be back on the shelf with the other videos….