Mothers Day Flash Back

A year ago this weekend I made the discovery that I was pregnant. There wasn’t one sudden instant when I knew, but a very faint line on the Saturday morning test gave me a heads up, while Rob firmly concluded that it was negative and refused to give it a second thought. But I knew better and kept it as my little secret until a suitably dark enough line emerged on Monday morning, clinching the diagnosis for my skeptical husband.

Those two days of suspecting but not being able to share the news with my black and white husband (or anyone else for that matter) started the bond I now have with Mia. Whereas with Toby I couldn’t WAIT to share the news, this time I reveled in the secrecy of my pregnancy. From the very start Mia was all mine…I was excited, but also nervous. How would I manage life with two? How would Toby react? How could I possibly love another as much as I love him? Would I get my wish of having a daughter or be investing in new soccer cleats for myself so I could keep up with the testosterone in our house? And the biggest question of all - - what would I be doing this time next year?

What a joyous feeling to be on this end of the fence and to KNOW. I got my girl. Toby adores her. My heart has expanded appropriately (to put it mildly) to accommodate this new addition. And what does life look like today?

I contemplated this at 6:45 this morning. Mia had slept through the night, woken up smiling and had a great feed and I’d brought her into bed with us for a few moments of quiet before Toby got up. Rob and I were taking turns making her laugh.

I thought about the “me” of this time last year – excited, nervous, well rested, 10 pounds lighter and unaware of what laid ahead. And I felt this great surge of accomplishment, satisfaction and joy…And then Mia projectile vomited all over my face.

Chaos ensued; as I wiped my glasses and face off, Rob jumped up and sprang into laundry-action and somewhere from the depths of the basement I heard Toby start to cry.

And so my mother’s day conclusion is? Life is certainly unpredictable…and motherhood brings with it the greatest highs and the lowest of lows imaginable. But at the end of the day, it’s the greatest gift of all.