Crushing a Princess' Dream

Toby has had quite a run of princess situations lately. Recently there was another theme week at daycare that revolved around princesses, and then there was the Royal Wedding, which he watched both at home AND at daycare. So no wonder he announced to me the other day that when he grows up he wants to be a princess.

I believe very strongly in allowing my kids to follow WHATEVER path they choose so long as they are passionate about what they do. When Toby decided he wanted to be an astronaut so he could go to the moon I said nothing of the high IQ, financial implications and years and years of schooling it would involve; I bit my mommy tongue and told him that sounded like a great plan.

But a PRINCESS? At what point does the very practical point – that being the fact that he is MALE – negate this option?

The first time it came up I said nothing.

The second time it came up I nodded and smiled.

Yesterday, though, perhaps having sensed my skepticism, he clarified to me, “Mommy, when I grow up FIRST I’m going to become a woman and THEN I’m going to be a princess? And you know what? I’m going to wear a PURPLE DRESS.”

As if the fact that it will be a PURPLE dress will somehow soften the blow of the sex change that took place in the previous sentence.

Kids have a way of putting our blanket statements to a test. Would it REALLY scar him if I told him that he couldn’t become a woman? What is the likelihood that years from now he’ll find himself in a purple dress lying on the couch of his shrink’s office saying in his estrogen-induced-high-pitched-female-voice “If only my mom had just been more open minded and not crushed my dreams of becoming Tobina at the age of 3, I would never have had such a tough life.”

By the time I had analyzed this and weighed the odds enough to feel confident in my decision to raise the sensible point to him he had moved on and was busy smashing his train track apart.

Perhaps some conversations are better left unsaid…