An Interesting Excursion...

There are lots of things I love to do with my mother. In fact, doing almost ANYTHING with my mother adds a splash of energy and a hint of chaos to MOST day to day activities. Sometimes this is a good thing – sometimes not. Last week I discovered something that I should probably NOT do with my mother: shop.

This is not the first time I’ve gone shopping with my mom. It’s also not the first time I’ve dealt with the postpartum awkward stage my body is currently going through. But it’s the first time I’ve mixed the two together. Not. A. Great. Idea.

With Mia’s baptism fast approaching (mainly because we left the planning to the last minute) and my waistline creeping down at a SNAILS pace, I decided it was best just to buy something new for the occasion. Barrie, being halfway between my parents’ house and mine, seemed like a great option. (The fact that there is a mall there was also a bonus.)

This seemingly logical thought process set the stage for where I found myself this time last week; surrounded by lovely clothes that accentuated various rolls and love handles with my mother, wheelchaired father and crying daughter taking up the entire change room, eagerly awaiting their chance to voice their opinion.

It’s not my mother’s fault that I can read her; I have had over 30 years of practice. She did her best to use neutral phrases such as, “That’s a nice colour” and “Well…that looks OK…“ and my favourite: “Hmm…” She was never negative but the dramatic lack of enthusiasm said it all.

Finally, she came out with it and told me what she REALLY thought when I put on a particularly familiar blue shirt. “Oh, now that shirt just makes you look BUSTY. A definite NO.”

It was the shirt I had worn there that day.

I think that clinched it for all of us. As Mia started to fuss and my dad started to wonder where he was, mom and I decided it was a great time to go for lunch.

Thank heavens for Moxy’s Grille. They took one look at my (still slightly enlarged) disgruntled face and cheerfully asked the question that saved the day,

“Would you like the 6 or the 8 ounce glass of white wine?”