Just the little things...

There are so many little things to write about in my blog that I don’t want to forget; things that have come barreling back to me from my first 6 weeks with Toby that I thought would either never end or would be impossible to forget. And yet there they were, archived in the back of my brain along with my organic chemistry notes and everything that came before “cry it out”. These little things have overtaken my world again; the sudden thirst that overtakes you as soon as your milk lets down; the sweetness of the look on your child’s face when the milk coma take over; the visceral discomfort that hearing your baby cry elicits; the rhythm of the swish and bounce; the euphoric feeling of the sun rising and knowing you’ve survived another night; my anxiety over absolutely everything and absolutely nothing…Why did I assume it would be so different this time around?

But there are also new things with this experience; the pride I feel when I watch Toby kiss and hold his little sister; the reality of how OLD my firstborn seems all of a sudden; the challenge of multitasking – doing bed time with Toby while breastfeeding, cooking dinner with Mia in the baby Bjorn while doing Valentine’s crafts with Toby; and the quiet simplicity of days with a newborn.

Above all, however, this experience is blessed with the innate knowledge of how soon this phase will all be over. Some days this brings me great relief; other days it brings me to tears. Am I enjoying these first few weeks? I know that my answer today comes with hesitation but I am very aware of how fondly I will look back on them in years to come…