The Trip to Florida

With the visit to Florida already quickly dissipating from my memory, I feel some anxiety about jotting down my experience so I have at least SOME record of it on my blog in which I don’t complain about customs or sick kids. It’s not an easy task, reflecting on vacation while drowning in mounds of paperwork and anxious patients that seemingly sat on my doorstep AWAITING my return from a FULL WEEK AWAY. How DARE I.

So to make writing and reading easier for both of us, I present to you – my week in Florida -- Randy Gangbar style.

Destination: Florida

Leaving on the trip:

1 toddler

1 elderly-wheelchair-dependent-eager-yet-slightly-confused-grandpa

2 vivacious and energy charged women full of vim and vigor, (with an optimistic bottle of gin in hand)

People who returned from Florida 1 week later:

1 tired toddler (+antibiotics)

1 doting grandma (10lb lighter)

1 tired, cranky mother with a few extra grey hairs

1 slightly-younger-seeming-still-wheelchair-dependent-slightly-confused-but-just-as-excited-and-doting-grandpa

The 1-ounce of gin that remained….

Number of hours spent in transit: 19

Number of flight delays: 1

Number of hours spent on the plane during a normally scheduled naptime: 6

Number of hours (the toddler) actually spent sleeping on the plane: 1

Number of trips to the beach: 4

Number of hours we spent playing with balls: 26

Number of beach balls we purchased on the trip: 3

Average beach ball cost: $1.99 (maybe that’s why we had to buy 3…)

Number of seashells collected by my father: 47

Number of seashells we managed to smuggle home through customs for Daddy: 2

Number of different bodies of water we could see from our condo: 5

Number of times Toby went swimming: 0

Number of times I tried to GET him to go swimming: 6

Number of times my dad leapt out of his wheelchair, dropped his blanket and insisted on walking down to the ocean to put his feet in the water to show Toby that it wasn’t scary but, in fact, exciting: 1

Length of time it took to get my dad from the wheelchair to the ocean: 10 min

Number of women it took to help him down to the ocean: 2

Number of times my dad hopped out of his wheelchair and attempted to RUN on the beach with Toby: 1

Number of years it has been since I’ve seen my father run: 10

Number of years I am going to remember this moment for: …1000….

Number of times I got to go for a run on the beach: 3

Number of times I indulged in a lunch of corona and lime chips: 5

Number of novels read (by my mother and myself): 4

Number of jigsaw puzzles completed: 2 1/2

Cumulative number of afternoon naps taken: 19

Number of times we ate out at a restaurant: 3

Number of times we got food poisoning from a restaurant: 1 (my mom - -hence the 10lb weight loss…)

Number of dependents I was then left to feed, clothe and entertain by myself as my mom recovered: 2

Number of trips to local urgent care centre: 1 (for Toby)

Percent more that the doctors in America charge than we charge in Canada: 600%

Number of medications prescribed to Toby: 3

Number of meds that are “banned in Canada” that he was prescribed: 1

Number of corvettes seen: 3

Number of old gray haired couples NOT wearing matching outfits: 0

Number of times my dad asked where we were: 5

Number of times Toby asked where we were: 35

Number of Alligators at the Naples Zoo: 8 (7 live, 1 plastic)

Number of holes we played at Jungle Zoo Mini Golf: 15

Number of times Toby got a hole in 1: 2 (SERIOUSLY!!! The kid has talent…)

Number of times my mom got a hole in 1: 2

Number of times I got a hole in one: 0

Number of pedicures: 2 (my dad and I)

Number of years my mom has been nagging my dad to “get his ugly toenails dealt with”: 5

Number of times my father has ever had a pedicure before: 0

Number of minutes it took to convince him: 0

Number of large, loud American women who laughed and chatted him up during his pedicure: 3

Number of times they said he was “cute”: 5

Average number of temper tantrums per day: 7 (Toby: 6, Mommy: 1)

Number of boxes of goldfish crackers we went through: 3

Number of successful baths: 1

Number of attempts at bath: 6

Number of times I had to carry the kid out of the local store kicking and screaming: 3

Number of items I purchased something in order to avoid a temper tantrum: 3

Number of times it worked: 0

Number of diapers mommy packed: 38

Number of diapers used by Toby: 39 (don’t ask)

Number of hours it took us to get home: 8

Number of hours waiting for our luggage: 1

Number of kisses Daddy gave to Mommy and Toby when he picked us up at the airport: 100

Number of kisses Mommy gave to Daddy: 101…

The trip was an adventure of ups and downs. I wouldn’t call it the most RELAXING week of my life, but in hindsight the trip was never really about MY relaxation; it was about something much bigger and greater than that. Sometimes in life you are given moments that you recognize at the time will stay with you forever – I only wish that Toby could someday look back on and remember for himself the week he spent with his beloved Gaga and Papa; laughing, hitting balls, and running in the sand together. I guess that’s one of the many things I will just have to do for him, and I will remind him of it with laughter and nostalgia (and maybe leave out the parts about the urgent care centre and the 39^th diaper…)