The Gender Divide

Boys and girls are different.  I know that sounds obvious.  And stereotyped. And colloquial.  But it’s true.  And as much as I try to deny it (again and again) there is nothing I can do to keep the boys boy out of Toby and the ballerina princess out of Mia.

(I suspect the trip to Disney didn’t help with this.)

Tonight just before dinner the polarizing differences came to a head as I silently cooked dinner while eavesdropping on my kids. 

Toby was running races. It was Germany against Switzerland against Canada against USA.  At each round of the race I was asked which team I was cheering for and then regularly updated on each team’s progress. 

Mia, on the other hand, was dressed as a (rather disheveled) princess and practicing her ballet moves.  I don’t know HOW she knows ANYTHING at ALL about ballet.  We have never taken her TO the ballet or any sort of ballet class and as far I as I know she has yet to see an episode of Angelina Ballerina.  Yet still, Mia continues to delight in her dress up clothes and announces regularly to us that she is, in fact, not only a PRINCESS, but also a PRIMA BALLERINA.

Meanwhile, back at the races.  I can’t tell you WHO exactly I was cheering for or what place everyone came in but I CAN tell you that eventually the teams all reached level ONE HUNDRED and suddenly the event got VERY SERIOUS.

I was informed of the seriousness of this level because at level ONE HUNDRED the race involved JUMPING and DID YOU KNOW what happens when you didn’t successfully JUMP over the essential LEVEL ONE HUNDRED JUMPS? 

Wait for it…

You go back to level one.

I flipped the perogies.

Mia, not knowing what sort of ballet moves PRIMA BALLERINAS practice, was hanging upside down from the banister and flapping her hands frantically while trying desperately to balance her tiara on her head.

Suddenly, the level 100 races began.

It was GERMANY against SWITZERLAND against the USA against CANADA against the lone Prima Ballerina, who abandoned her spot at the bar to join the race.

I put the corn I'm the microwave.

Suddenly there was lots of screaming from just beyond the start line.  Apparently prima ballerinas do not mingle well with the likes of world of high-class jump racers.  There was lots of commotion, some heated discussion, a couple of barks from the dog, and then the oven went off.

I am somewhat shocked but mainly indifferent to report that team USA  (?wtf)  won the race and successful completed level ONE HUNDRED.

I am also happy to report that the prima ballerina, despite losing her tiara and one of her high-heeled slippers during the race, emerged unscathed and was NOT relegated back to level 1 as was previously discussed.

The final score was:  USA first place, Canada second, Germany third, Switzerland 4^th and Prima ballerina Disqualified for wardrobe malfunction but awarded second prize for the sake and sanity of our family.

And dinner was ready.