A Trip to the Doctor's

We took Toby to the doctor yesterday because (you guessed it) the kid has a cough. Again. This kid gets coughs and colds so often I’m beginning to wonder if he’s half seal. We don’t usually rush him in so he hasn’t actually seen his doctor all THAT often, but this cough has persisted for 3 weeks and was getting wetter and a bit worse so we decided it was time to take him in.

In preparation for “the big visit” we read, “Farley goes to the Doctor” every night this week. Toby LOVES the book and was ECSTATIC to hear that he was going to get to go to his very OWN doctor and do exciting things like taking deep breaths and opening his mouth and saying AAAAAH. He even brought his beloved bear with him to share in the exciting experience. The excitement lasted all morning right up until the moment that Dr Clarke walked in the room; then he decided that maybe he didn’t want to see her after all. And he CERTAINLY didn’t want to sit on the exam table by himself and there was no WAY he was going to open his mouth and say AAAAH OR take a deep breath.

Sigh.

But he made up for it. My generous family doc offered to save me a trip in and do my prenatal appointment while I was there and, in an attempt to engage my stubborn child, asked if he would be willing to help out.

Toby didn’t say anything but promptly jumped up onto the examining table on which I was sitting and positioned himself behind me while attempting to wrap his little legs and arms around my back. He sat there like that without saying anything until I had my blood pressure taken and then whispered reassuringly into my ear, “Don’t worry mommy. Just take a deep breath…”

I would like to say that it was ALSO a special moment when Toby heard, for the first time, his little sibling’s heart beat…but to be honest, he was WAAY too captivated by the cold jelly that had been squirted onto my belly to even notice. (I did hear later that he had spent the rest of the day making offhanded comments to his babysitter about how he had “gotten to talk to the baby”.)

All in all, we had a great trip to the doctor’s. Toby doesn’t need antibiotics, the baby is growing well with a good strong heartbeat, and I now know that if I’m ever nervous about anything, my little boy will be there for me in a heartbeat. Three simple things that made me feel I was on cloud 9 for the rest of the day. Sometimes life is so simple…

Toby's Jokes

“Mommy!” I was jolted out of my dinner enjoyment, “You need to go to a time out!”

“Why?” I asked after politely finishing my mouthful.

“Because,” Toby informed me, wagging his finger in the air, “You were being RUDE.”

“What!!?!?” I answered dramatically with a smile creeping over my face, “I most certainly was NOT being RUDE!” I played along.

“Yes, you were, Mommy” I was informed, “You were. And now you need to go to a time out.”

Within seconds his serious face crumbled into peels of devilish laughter. After all - - WHAT could POSSIBLY be more ludicrous than a MOMMY being RUDE and then having to go to TIME OUT? When it comes to 2 year old jokes, I had to hand it to him, that was a pretty good one.

What came next, however, caught me completely off guard.

“Mommy?” Toby gasped as his mass hysteria subsided, “You’re my best friend…”

The grin on his face told me this last statement was NOT a joke. I don't know where he learned the term or even the CONCEPT of having a best friend, but I'm feeling like a very lucky mommy tonight to have been chosen as his.

Anatomy Lessons

The conversation was inevitable. It has been building for months and months and I’ve been avoiding it as best I could; changing my clothes in the closet and hopping out of the shower and into my towel quicker than his inquisitive gaze could follow. But it has only been a matter of time before I could avoid it no further...

Rob and I have always believed strongly in teaching Toby the correct anatomical terms for genitals and basic bodily functions that so fascinate little kids. He has known for a long time that he has a penis but despite the number of times I’ve been asked, I just can’t muster up the nerve to use the term “vagina” with him. I want to be honest with him and answer his questions but when I go to say it, the word just lodges in my throat and won't come out. My brain has obviously found something innately “risky” about teaching my word-spewing toddler the term “vagina” despite the attempts of my more rational mind to concede.

But today I was ambushed. It was just the two of us driving in the car when out of the blue Toby announced, “You don’t have a penis, Mommy.”

“No I don’t.” I answered honestly.

“Daddy has a penis. And I have a penis,” he continued and then paused with the inevitable question hanging in the air.

Taking a deep breath I finally let my rational brain win over and with as much normalcy as I could muster answered,

“And mommy has a vagina."

Toby thought about this for a moment and then replied,

“You have The Giant? Toby has a penis and Mommy has 'The Giant'."

After months of wondering, he seemed quite satisfied by this.

I heaved a sigh of relief; I had tried my best. And at least “The Giant” isn’t as weird sounding as “foo foo” or “vee-jay”. In fact, I think for now ‘the Giant’ will do just fine.

Skunky Kittens

You know how sometimes when you are talking to your toddler you find yourself having a ridiculous conversation? Yesterday I had an equally absurd one with my husband. It was late at night and I was sitting in our basement doing a jigsaw puzzle when a cat walked by outside, looked in the window and meowed at me and then kept walking along the perimeter of our house. I called to Rob to come see. It looked like a kitten. Rob came running down and I said, "There was a cat outside!" and went to open the door.
"ALYSSA! DON'T open the DOOR" I was scolded, "How do you KNOW it was a cat? Was it ORANGE?"
I responded that it wasn't orange; it was grey with cute little whiskers.

Rob then proceeded to ask how I knew for SURE that it was a cat and not a SKUNK. I wasn't sure how to answer that- -because it was a cat. Yes, but was I SURE it wasn't a skunk? Finally, after MUCH convincing, I was allowed to open the door but obviously the cute little kitten was gone. So I never DID manage to convince him that I know the difference between a skunk and a cat and he went back to work muttering to himself, "I bet it was a skunk".

Toby's Tennis Antics

Don’t ever say your kid can’t learn things from watching sports on TV. For the past few weeks, Rob and Toby have bonded over the US Open. IN fact, we’re going through a bit of tennis withdrawal now that it’s over. Toby loves to watch and emulate any and every sport that he is exposed to and it was no different with tennis. Despite the fact that he doesn’t own toy tennis rackets and is not allowed to play with tennis balls in the house, he managed to put some of his new antics to the test despite our obvious attempts at curtailing his tennis playing.

It took me a while to figure out just what he was doing as he ran around patting the soccer ball and then throwing it overhead. But what gave it away was how he incorporated the blanket. “Hold this mommy and sit there” I was instructed. Excited not to have to actually run around during a game of “sports” I gladly took my position in the corner and held onto the blanket unsuspectingly. Toby ran back and forth across the room, hitting his soccer ball in his hand and jumping into the air and hten periodically running over to me and burying his face in the blanket.

It took me a while to catch on but soon I got it; I was the towel guy and he was running over to wipe his face. You can’t put anything past this kid! He doesn’t ask why, but eagerly accepts his keen observations as key parts of the new game of “tennis” that he is working hard to perfect. Judging from my view on the sidelines, I think he’s got the forehead sweat wipe down pat.

The Truth about Gochar

Yesterday morning Toby and I were comparing “bellies”. The fact that there is a baby in mine is becoming an increasingly popular topic of conversation. It has been pointed out to him on numerous occasions when he has indulged in such toddler behaviour as kicking or performing surprise jumps onto me from the other side of the couch. But despite the fact that this baby is hampering his temper tantrums and surprise jump attacks; he has grown increasingly more curious and fascinated by this “Baby in the belly” phenomenon.

Yesterday, after his third bowl of cereal, he wanted to know if there was, perhaps, a baby in HIS belly too. Despite the fact that it did sort of look that way, I explained to him that only mommies could have babies. Would it be coming out soon so he could meet her? (He is consistent that it’s going to be a little sister…) I told him it was a bit of a wait still and my belly was going to get a lot bigger before the baby came out.

“Mommy.” He said excitedly, “When the baby comes out it’s going to have BLUE eyes just like you and me!”

“Oh, really?”

“And I’m going to be the big brother!” he continued with enthusiasm. “And I’m going to HELP you”

Cherishing this conversation and not wanting it to end I delved deeper and asked what the baby was going to be called.

Toby got quiet and then quietly revealed to me a secret he was obviously keeping close to his heart,

“She’s going to be Gochar.”

Sometimes I can’t follow his little brain, but in that instant I suddenly understood. Gochar, his beloved imaginary friend, who now takes up an extra place at the table and joins in on all of our songs and games and keeps Toby company when we make him play by himself, is his preparation; Gochar is his little sister.

The very thought of the way he tenderly stated Gochar’s name as he let me in on his secret and the way that, even in his imagination, he lets Gochar win running races and have equal turns singing nursery rhymes and playing eye spy with us made my eyes well up with tears. What a great big brother he is already turning out to be.

I only hope he isn’t TOO disappointed when we DON'T give the baby an alien name...

...And then there are things I CAN'T figure out...

Toddlers make a lot of random statements. Toby is constantly surprising me by expressions or phrases he has obviously overheard and integrated into his ever expanding vocabulary. Sometimes they are phrases I hope to hear a lot of, other times they are things I never would have intentionally taught him. MOST of the time I know exactly who or where he has picked them up, but yesterday I was stumped.

He was sitting at the counter bouncing in his chair eating big messy spoonfuls of cereal while I was emptying the dishwasher when he cocked his head to the side and endearingly asked, “Mommy…Am I your bugaboo?”

“Yes, Toby” I answered just as lovingly (Bugaboo is, for whatever reason, one of my pet names for him.)

Still smiling lovingly (and obviously on a roll) he then asked sweetly,

“Mommy…am I your sister Rosie?”

Dress up day at Daycare

Today was Princess, King and Dragon day at daycare. I suspect they were reading a book or fairy tale of some sort on the topic. Maybe they were tackling Henry the 8^th. Who knows -- all I know is that all week long there were signs up saying, “What are YOU going to be on Friday? A princess, a King or a dragon?” I’m not always the most organized daycare mom and it wouldn’t be the first time that my poor child showed up without costume. It didn’t matter so much at first as he was too little to notice, but I made a conscious resolution to be better at it this year.

So last night as I picked him up at daycare I asked him, “Toby, what do you want to dress up as tomorrow?” I didn’t even have to give him the options, “A PRINCESS!” He announced excitedly from the back seat.

“Really?” I asked.

“Yes. I want to be a princess.”

Toddlers never give you enough warning for moments like these. I wish I could have use a lifeline or called a friend - -I was so unsure how to proceed from there. I am all FOR gender neutrality and letting him explore his feminine side, but on a PRACTICAL note I didn’t want him to get teased and….we just don’t HAVE any PRINCESS costumes at home. Hoping not to scar him for life, I gingerly explored the topic with him,

“Toby…what do you think princesses wear?”

“A dress and a crown."

(He had obviously been thinking about this)

“I don’t know that we HAVE any dresses. Are you SURE you want to wear a dress to daycare?”

“YOU have dresses, mommy. I want to be a princess.”

He was starting to pout and I was obviously getting nowhere so I did what any good mother would do in this situation,

“Of course you can be a princess, honey. After dinner tonight you and DADDY can go through our costume trunk and pick out your costume together.”

He went as a dragon.