Life changing moments

Rob and the Kids on the Last Day of School

This past week was a crazy one with the end of school.  Amidst the chaos of end of school gifts, last minute trip planning, hosting a surprise wedding in our backyard (true story) and wrapping things up at work, I noticed a small note on my calendar this past Friday: “Kindergarten Celebration of Learning: 1:45pm”.  Not quite early enough to be lunch time, not quite late enough to squeak in an afternoon office.  Yup.  My whole Friday afternoon was going to revolve around said celebration of learning.

Mia awoke on Friday morning her usual bossy self.   My eyes had not yet greeted daylight when they were loudly being instructed to LOOK DOES THIS DRESS WORK???? I was under the impression that they were all supposed to wear red and suggested that perhaps her neon yellow and purple attire wouldn’t exactly fit.  YES BUT HOW DO YOU KNOW WE HAVE TO WEAR RED.  Well, I got a text message from some system that her teacher uses to contact me with last minute instructions and the one last night said they were supposed to wear red.  And WHERE WAS HER RED DRESS THEN IF THE TEXT CAME LAST NIGHT.  Well, I supposed it was in the wash.  WHY HADNT I WASHED IT.  I think because the text just came last night and I am not superman.  I am not even super mom.  It was now 7:04 and I still hadn’t opened my eyes.

Mia was already storming off in a huff.

And so started the day that needed to be compressed all into the span of time that lies between getting miss Bossy-pants on the bus and arriving in enough time to the school concert that I could still get a seat.

Even my medical student, whose last day it was with me, knew on Friday morning that all goals of the day pointed towards ME arriving ON TIME to the St Mary’s Elementary school so I could celebrate the learning that was done in play based kindergarten.

We made it with 4 minutes to spare.

I was still feeling jittery and frantic when all of a sudden the lights dimmed and a song came on.  I don’t know who sang this song but they couldn’t have picked a better one.  I don’t even remember the words, but the cheerful tune with the right amount of twang and sentimentality sent me right out of work mode.

I watched my little girl in her red dress (10 points for me!) walk down the aisle, smiling proudly at all she had accomplished so far in her 5 years of life.

And all of a sudden, as she stood meekly on that stage, hiding behind the friend beside her and concentrating oh so hard on singing the right words while using the right actions, my big little red-dressed, bossy pants was suddenly not so big anymore.

Those legs – that boldly step onto the school bus every morning without a second glance looked suddenly so tiny up on that big stage.

Her impish smile from this morning was gone and I saw instead the roundness of her face from the baby fat that is still there in her cheeks.

I saw the dimples in her arms as she waved them around with the actions.

I saw how tiny her little toes are peeking out from her (clearly overused) indoor shoes.

Instead of her usual boisterous confidence that so terrorizes her older brother, I saw instead the innocence in her smile that has seen nothing bad yet in life.

And her all knowing self-assured aura dissolved as I saw the wonder in her eyes as she watched us clap and clap and clap for her.

As I watched my baby standing there on stage I saw her again, for the first time in eons, as just that:  my baby.

Sometimes life affords us pure, unaltered moments of clarity.

As I clapped for Mia and her class, I longed for this moment to go on for longer.   I longed suddenly for this stage of life to go on for longer.  Next year this celebration would be a “graduation”.  I knew I was a LONG way off from being able to handle that.

I am pleased to report that I have spent the last few months finagling my job in such a way that I can now be home more for the kids.  Not only do I now have the time to get them on the bus in the morning, I will also be there to greet them off the bus and accompany them on their after school activities.  It’s a juggle and a big change, but after seeing Rob do it so well this past year, I want nothing more than to “have my turn”.  As moments like this teach us, and as that crazy nosy stranger at Walmart has warned us "they grow up so quickly".  

And so next year is my year to embrace it all.  I don’t know how it’s going to go…but at the very least I suspect it will lead to more blogging opportunities...I’ll keep you “posted” :)