Happy 5th Birthday, Toby!

My Dearest Toby,

Today you turned 5 years old.  FIVE!!! I can’t believe it!  It seems like just yesterday I was driving you home from your 4^th Birthday party and you were already planning what we were going to do for your 5^th.  Do you remember what I said to you?  I said, “TOBY!  Don’t you DARE turn 5!!! That’s TOO old.”  You thought it was REALLY funny and for the next 364 days you took it upon yourself to taunt your poor mama by talking about how ONE day you were going to turn FIVE.

And now here we are.   It hasn’t been 24 hours yet and already I know what type of cake you want for your 6^th birthday.  SERIOUSLY, Kid!  Stop rushing me!!!

You had a wonderful day today.  Because we had your skating birthday yesterday afternoon you woke up to Mommy, Daddy, Mia, AND Grandma Lynda and Papa.  As such, you had been up reading books with Grandma for 20 minutes before I even got to SEE the 5-year-old version of you.

Your face was GLOWING with excitement this morning.  I loved watching you marvel at all the new things in the world to discover as a 5 year old.  You made your goal extra wide in the post-breakfast soccer game we played, because, you announced, now that you were FIVE you could PROBABLY defend a larger net.

(A few minutes into the game we decided to put it back to the normal size it usually is…)

You loved your morning birthday muffin and the wide array of presents that awaited you at the breakfast table this morning.

At school you got to be the leader for the whole day all by yourself.  (This made up for the fact that they didn’t immediately move you up to SK now that you were 5.)

After school you played with your new hot wheels racetrack, had pizza for dinner and watched the end of the Amazing Race.  As you always do before bed, you put on a soccer outfit (This time you have a new #10 Barcelona shirt with Messi on your back courtesy of Grandma Lynda) and we had a game.  After getting upset with us for referring to you as “Messy” a few times we showed you a You Tube video of “Messi” and you watched avidly all 91 of his record braking goals from the 2012 season.

You’re hooked.

One day, when you move to Barcelona and change your name to Messi, you can look back and realize the exact moment your awestruck idolization of the man first took shape.

Tonight I was the lucky one who got to tuck you into bed.  We snuggled into bed together and read chapters 3-5 of your new chapter book.  You’re still not TOTALLY sure you like books without pictures, but are up for the challenge.  As always, I sang you your good night song that reflects back on everything that happened during your day, and afterwards we had a little chat about your very first day with me, 5 years ago today.

I remembered that you were very quiet when you first came out and you just looked up at me very seriously with your big blue eyes.  It’s quite unusual for babies to come out without crying and Dr Clarke wasn’t sure that you were breathing OK so she took you away and put you under the lights and they warmed you up and flicked your toes and pinched your belly and tried to get you to cry but still you were silent.  After a few minutes you finally made some noise and she gave you back to me.  Turns out you were just fine –you were just taking your time, assessing the new surroundings before joining in.  It’s how you approach all new situations, as I’ve grown to realize over these 5 years.   You always come around in your own time…

That first night together I TRIED to put you in the little incubator beside my bed but you cried and cried whenever I put you down and finally I just brought you into bed with me and we snuggled up and spent your first night together. 

I loved you SO much that first night.  I didn’t think anyone else in the whole world had ever loved anyone so very much and I didn’t think it was possible to love anything more than I did you that very first night.

And that’s the other thing you’ve taught me, Toby; here we are 5 years later and that love has multiplied beyond what I ever thought possible. That first night I loved you because you were my baby boy, but today I love you because you, Toby Henry, are growing into a wonderful, sweet little boy.  I love the sparkle in your mischievous eye, the intense love you have for your little sister, the way you curl your hair with your finger and bite your tongue to soothe yourself when you’re tired, your tireless energy for and love soccer, and this innate sense of goodness that permeates through everything you do.

I may not have WANTED you to grow up to be a 5 year old so quickly but so far you’re a pretty great one.  Happy Birthday, baby boy

Xoxoxo

Mommy