The Adventures of Baby Joseph : Part 2

Baby Joseph has been a part of our lives for a good 3 months now, and just as it is with any baby who comes into this world, we couldn’t imagine life without him.

Seriously.

Similar to how we have to find accommodations for the dog when we go away for a weekend, or a vacation, or even a day trip to Toronto, so too must we now find some suitable arangements for Baby Joseph.

Luckily, we have been blessed, from the  Christmas before last, with a Canadian Girl named Hannah.  Her birth name is “Adventure Girl” and she came with a compass and a diary, and a back pack, and some canisters of bear spray. But her main calling in life, as it turns out, is to be the guardian of baby Joseph.

I won’t lie to you – it’s a fairly easy job.  Baby Joseph does nothing but sleep in the same outfit and blanket he was Christened in at Grandma’s house on Christmas day.  Mia does not change his clothes, his blanket OR his hat.  But Hannah does.  And Hannah is OFTEN up at night with him.  I know, because Mia “laments” over her poor Adventure Girl’s  hardships each morning over her honey-flavoured yoghurt.
“Poor Hannah” she will say as she takes a big scoop of yoghurt and honey, “Baby Joseph cried ALL. NIGHT. LONG”

“Oh, dear” I will throw in as I frantically throw together lunches for the 3 of us while simultaneously coaching Toby at his spelling words for the week,

“Yes…” she will pause between mouthfuls, “AND she had to change his diaper THREE TIMES.  And he got sick. And had a fever.  And Hannah gave him some medicine.  But he had to sleep with her.  And then he threw up on her PILLOW but she washed it.  And now he is very sick so she will take him to the doctors today.”

“Wow.”  I chime in just to prove that I am a good mother and that I am listening.

“Could I have some raisin toast with cinnamon cream cheese?” she will then ask, just to drown the hardships of what her Canadian Girl doll had to face last night.

“Of course”

So you can IMAGINE that…now how shall I phrase this….it’s not that I don’t think Mia CARES about babay Joseph…but more so that I just implicitly TRUST in Hannah’s unique capabilities.

Hannah is TWELVE, I should mention.  Which is old enough to know how to write in a journal and hike in forests that are so complicated you need a compass.  And you CAN have your OWN baby by the time you are fourteen.  According to Mia, of course.

SO when our friends were over last weekend and Mia was having her own adventures in the big City with Grandma Lynda and her two deserving beanie Boos and caring for my Cabbage Patch Dolls Stephanie and Carmella, I didn’t think twice about telling our dear neighbor’s daughter that she could play with baby Joseph when she was visiting.  And when the time came for her to leave, I didn’t think it would be THAT big of a deal to let her take Baby Joseph with her to her house NEXT DOOR as long as she PROMISED to bring him back the next day. (Preferably, BEFORE Mia got home.)

It’s funny what a few glasses of wine can do to your memory.

Mia arrived home happy and refreshed and RAVING about Toronto and the subway and the symphony and the percussion instruments  and the cymbals and….

WHERE. On EARTH was BABY JOSEPH.

“OH…” I said, “Yes, well the little girl next door was over and she took good care of him and they were playing, so might I suggest you check in your playroom.”

As you can well deduce, he was not there. It wasn’t until she had unsuccessfully checked both the playroom, basement AND her brother's room that I suddenly remembered…

“Um…Mia…” I said sheepishly, “I totally forgot that baby Joseph MIGHT have actually had a sleepover next door last night..."

Miss Mia did not say a word.

Very calmly, and with an eerie yet tranquil silence she marched downstairs, into the mudroom and put on her coat.

A mother will do ANYTHING for their child.

I raced after her.

She had already arrived at our next door neighbours house and was knocking on the door by the time I caught up to her.

“Hello, Mia!” my dear friend announced at her unexpected arrival “How was the trip to Grandma’s house and the symphony????”

She got not a response.

“”Um…” I said awkwardly running up behind her, “We thought we’d come and collect Baby Joseph…!!!”

Good friends can take cues from even the subtlesest of body language cues.

“Oh, YES, of COURSE!” and she raced up stairs. 

Dear little, girl, however – - not so subtle.

“I took GOOD CARE of Baby Joseph! He was SAFE with me!” she announced from her highchair.

If looks could kill.

Mia grabbed baby Joseph out of my friend’s arms and promptly put her boots on before stomping back out the door.

I stayed for a bit to chat (of course) before heading home.

Arriving home, I was greeted by an ANGRY Mia who was vehemently SWEEPING the garage floor.  As I approached she dropped the broom, turned her back to me and MARCHED into the house, shifting towards me ever so slightly before slamming the door to deliver her message,

“NEXT time, I’d like it if you could ASK me FIRST.”

And so it appears that baby Joseph, despite his full time 12 year old nanny and unenthusiastic welcome into this world, IS indeed well loved.   And it ALSO appears that Mia has polished AND perfected her approach, not only to babies and little girls, but  also to dealing with unruly teenagers.

I sent myself straight to time out.
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