The Art of Lying

I have learned a lot about lying, when kids learn to lie and even HOW kids learn to lie.  For those of you who missed it, Toby and Mia had an opportunity to be a part of a documentary on The Nature of Things called Born to be Good?  If you haven’t seen it – watch it.  Not because my kids are in it, but because it is a fascinating look at how we all develop into moral beings, when kids learn about good and bad behaviours, what is innate and what is learned.  More importantly, though, the CBC is thinking of cancelling The Nature of Things in order to opt for yet another reality show.  Don’t let this happen!!! (No, they are not paying me to post this...I really do have something to say about my kids in this post...)

Not only was Toby featured in the show as a typical 4-year-old playing with his friends, he also participated in some of the research studies.  They couldn’t use the footage of him because he was one of the only kids who didn’t “cheat” and peek behind him at the toy he had been instructed NOT to look at.  The point of this study was not to see if kids “peeked” (they all do, apparently) but to see if they then later lied about whether or not they peeked. It was all done to test the theory of what age children learn to lie at.  Researchers have narrowed it down to some time between the ages for 3 and 4.  Toby was just over 3 at the time of the study and clearly hadn’t developed a single deceptive skill yet.

Last I heard the verdict was still out on the exact age of lying-acquisition, but in our household, some newer evidence has emerged.

Despite HOW angelic and morally good your first child is, there’s no guarantee the second one will be ANYTHING like the first at ALL.

Last night at dinner, our not-quite-2-year-old delivered the most straight-faced and blatant lie I have ever heard.  I don’t even think Toby could have delivered it better.

I will set the scene:

It was a typical dinner at the Henry household.  Rob and I had long finished our meal, Toby was on his 2^nd mouthful, busy talking our ear off about Gochar and school and what the colour of the week was, when Mia decided she wanted some raspberries. 

The time interval between Mia’s initial calm request and her impatient hysterical request is about 4 seconds.  We are trying desperately to teach our little monster some patience and failing miserably at every attempt.    After the first calm, “Ras-BERRY!  Ras-BERRY!” I LEAPED off my stool, RUSHED to the fridge and actually had the raspberries in my hand and was on my way to the sink to  wash them when her ear piercing shrieks of hysterical I NEED RASPBERRIES RIGHT NOW OR I’M GOING TO WITHER AWAY AND DIE resonated across the kitchen.

Just as I was about to launch into the usual recrimination, the shrillness stopped abruptly and I turned to see Mia covering her ears with both hands.

Silence.

Finally Mia took her hands off her ears as the rest of us waited to see what would happen next.

Very seriously, with a slight furrow to the eyebrow Mia stated, “Too LOUD…..Daddy.”

I don’t know if she thought that me having my back turned to her would mean I would fall for this little act of deception.

“Mia…” I said breaking into a smile, ‘”That was NOT Daddy that was being too loud.”

And still she persisted.

Still maintaining composure she very seriously tried again, “Too LOUD….Toby.”

Now we were all in on this.

“I was NOT too loud, MIA!” said the obvious victim.

She was becoming desperate.  She could see those raspberries in my hand and she KNEW she had crossed the sound barrier/behaviour line so she tried her one last ditch attempt…with almost a question-ing tone to her somewhat quieter voice she tried,

“Too loud…Mommy?”

But the last word was muffled by the handful of raspberries that she was simultaneously stuffing into her mouth.

Some days having kids can provide priceless entertainment.

Some lessons can wait.